Save Me, Stockholm
by TimeTheFinalFrontier
Summary: A character study of the Bad Touch Trio, how they got their name, and why exactly Lovino stays after all these years.


Trigger warnings: Mentions of dubious consent, rape, child abuse, and pedophilia.

* * *

They were good friends. Back in the days when the world was strong and they were weak, they'd made a pact to do to others what had been done to them and they'd been friends ever since.

Gilbert simply lived a life of depravity, taking a perverse pleasure in the fall of the Holy Roman Empire and teaching Ludwig about the darker arts of love from an early age to ensure that he could never have a normal relationship with his beloved Italia.

The outside world saw Francis as the worst of their trio, but the nation of love could never bring himself to go all the way with his chosen poison. He simply seduced protesting, half-willing nations into his bed and reminded them that it wasn't rape if they came willingly, no matter how much they hadn't wanted it. He preyed on the weak and the newly fallen. Ludwig after both wars. Ivan after the fall of the Soviet Union. Arthur for years after the Revolution and after every world meeting at which Alfred was present. Matthew since the moment the boy had grown to his height.

Antonio hid himself under a mask of false cheerfulness, and everyone wondered just what he had done to earn himself a place amongst the infamous Bad Touch Trio. Only the others and Lovino knew.

Antonio and Lovino had always been close, so when it came time for Antonio to adopt the other from the former Holy Roman Empire's care, Lovino only put up a token protest at being separated from his brother. The young nation trusted Antonio, and that was why he didn't run when Antonio started to get closer. Boss would never hurt him, right?

Antonio knew it was wrong. He knew it was sick. But he didn't care; Lovino was just so _cute_ and so small and so innocent. He wanted to be the one to spoil that innocence. He wanted to be the one to soil that small body. So what if the world said it was wrong?

Lovino had a sneaking suspicion that Roderich didn't touch Feliciano the way Antonio touched him. He hated the way Antonio's hands felt running up and down his body, but he was too scared to say anything. Boss said no one else would take him in, that no one else would love him the way Boss loved him, so Lovino kept his silence and found comfort in a God he wasn't sure he still believed in.

When Lovino did begin to protest, quietly at first, Antonio didn't stop. His cries of, "Antonio, stop, that feels weird!" and, "Please, Antonio, don't touch me there!" went unheard. When he began acting out in public, loudly calling Antonio a "bastard" and an "idiot" and head butting him, hoping someone would notice and help him, Antonio told everyone else that he was hard to handle, a bad child, not at all sweet and cute like his brother. Everyone looked pityingly at Antonio, as if the bastard didn't deserve every horrible thing he said and did to him.

When Lovino grew older, the touches didn't stop, and they became strangely, sickeningly, welcome. Lovino knew it was wrong, to be falling in love with the man who had sexually and emotionally abused him throughout his childhood, but Antonio told him that no one else would want him, that no one else would love him. Antonio wouldn't start lying to him now, after all this time, would he?

The other members of the trio looked at him with something like pity. They, too, knew that everything about his relationship with Antonio was wrong, and they'd known from the beginning. Once, a long time ago, Francis had tried to take him from Antonio, but for some reason he couldn't quite remember, he'd stayed.

Antonio said they loved each other, but Lovino knew he didn't love Antonio they way Arthur loved Alfred or the way Tino loved Berwald and he knew that Antonio only felt love for the other members of his horrible trio.

Lovino knew, though, that they'd never touch one another, if only because they couldn't hurt and abuse and rape each other.

So he stayed in silence and watched Gilbert and Francis watching him with something like understanding and something like sorrow.

Because if Antonio said they loved each other, than it must be true, right?


End file.
